When Brooke asked me to write something for her blog about parenting, I thought where do I start? Then I started reminiscing about life before kids and all of the fantasies I had about what type of parent I was going to be and how my kids where going to be. Let’s just say, my list now doesn’t even compare to pre-babies! Raising a 4 year old boy who thinks he is an adult and a 2 year old girl who KNOWS she is an adult is the most fun adventure I have ever been on. Here is a list of some of my opinions before and after kids.
Before - My children will never throw a tantrum in the aisles of Wal-Mart.
Now – I just make sure when they flail their little bodies onto the dirty floor (because I won’t buy legos, Transformers, Ninjago, baby dolls, and anything else that has been strategically placed at their eye level) that they are at least out of the way of other shopper’s buggies.
Before - My children will always having on a coordinated outfit from head to toe.
Now – As long as they have clothes and shoes on and we can get out the door on time, it is ok that they are wearing snow boots with swim trunks and a pearl snap shirt and a motorcycle helmet.
Before – My children will eat well balanced meals.
Now – Corn dogs for breakfast…who am I kidding…corn dogs for every meal won’t ruin them forever (I hope). I just try to mix in one healthy treat like a banana or orange to make myself feel better.
Before – My children will always sleep in their beds in their own rooms.
Now – Well, let’s just say that if Holden isn’t snoozing in a Batman tent or in his closet inside of a sleeping bag then you can find him sleeping under our bed in his sleeping bag. I no longer ask why.
Before – My children will never go to school when they are sick. How could parents do that to their poor children and expose all of the other kids at school?
Now – My child may or may not have gone to school with pink eye this week (he was medicated and hopefully not contagious) and announced to everyone as he walked in the door, “I have the pink eye!!!” as if it were a badge of honor. What is a little germ spreading between friends?
Before – I am not going to be one of those parents that uses spit on my finger to clean my child’s face.
Now – It doesn’t matter if I can identify said substance on their face or not, if we are going out in public and I have nothing but my own spit and finger…well, I am just going to have to be one of those parents.
Before – My precious children will never have snot running down their faces.
Now – How can such a little nose create so many boogers? I would need to buy stock in Kleenex to keep those little noses clean all the time.
Before – I am not going to tell other people about being pregnant, child birth, having a newborn, what comes out of a newborn, sleep deprivation, potty training, toddler tantrums, or any other unwarranted advice.
Now – Well, how long do you have and I will tell you all about my kids, how they entered this earth, what they had for dinner, how precious they are, how smart they are, when they got their first teeth, their favorite activities…wait, let me pull out my camera so you can see pictures of them from birth until now.
I always joked that I have successfully raised well-behaved dogs so how hard can kids be? I think I will answer that question in about 16 years when they are both in college…or maybe when they are out of college…or after they are married…wait, does this whole “raising kids” thing every end? I sure hope not!