A Mother's Voice - Katie

I started following Katie's blog just after Harper was born.  Katie is a mother that has had to face some different circumstances through her journey of motherhood.  Over the last year when I've had days where I was feeling overwhelmed with medical issues, frustrated because Harper wasn't hitting the milestones that I am told she should be hitting or just having a little pity party for my daughter, Katie's blog always seemed to be ever-so-timely with words of wisdom, honesty and a few "ah-ha" moments.  She navigates motherhood with elegance and I appreciate her sharing her words of wisdom here on PIOW.  Thank you Katie!
www.baseballsbutterfliesblessings.blogspot.com/

                                                                         

Thanks, Brooke, for including me in your guest blogger project.  I’ve loved reading others’ perspectives on motherhood!

I have actually begun four different posts now in an effort to define my thoughts on motherhood.  I blame my inability to commit to a thought process on sleep deprivation.  I will also blame it on my gray hair which seems to be increasing rapidly lately.  I love being a mommy and I suppose fitting all my thoughts into one post is really challenging me! 

I have two children.  Will, age 3, is all boy with blue eyes and curly blond hair.  He is active and into pirates and baseball and soccer.  He loves to play pretend and dress up and I never know at any given moment which character I may be dealing with.  He loves to eat fish and chocolate.  He runs everywhere and never ceases to amaze me.  He asks questions beyond his years and has the most contagious laugh.  He also happens to be a quad congenital amputee.  My daughter, Ellie, is 9 months.  She cuddles and loves to eat.  She also loves her doll and makes the most precious cooing noises while she sleeps.  She squeals like no other and amazes me with her sense of contentment – despite often difficult circumstances.  Ellie has a syndrome causing limited range of motion in her joints which results in a great deal of therapies and surgeries.

In many ways, my motherhood experience (so far – only 3.5 years in) is like everyone else’s.  I worry about nutrition and sleep schedules.  I visit preschools to determine the best school for our children and our family.  I make playdates and I study discipline techniques.  I’m sleep deprived most of the time.  I try to find time for my husband and I around the schedule of a nursing baby.  I run errands and cook dinner and try to just get the dishes done at some point during the day.  I play outside.  I play dolls with one hand while wielding a sword with the other. 

But, as the mommy of two small children (age 3 and 9 months) who also happen to have different, unrelated physical disabilities, I find I am in a unique position of parenting.  I schedule doctors appointments and therapies.  I research and research and then I research some more.  I study new techniques and proven methods.  I keep an ongoing notepad of questions to ask specialists.  We budget for surgeries and medical travel expenses.  I’ve flown with my children for appointments more times than I can count.  We’ve seen doctors all over Texas and in Boston.  I have doctors and genetic counselors and therapists on my Christmas card list.  I answer questions on a daily basis from curious children and adults about my children’s unique differences.  I think about the what ifs for their future. 

In parenting under some unique circumstances, I thought I might share some of what I’ve learned.

1.      Just because you would never dare do something yourself doesn’t mean you don’t need to make a rule about it.  If you have a boy, always assume they will try something that may seem totally illogical to you.  Create rules and say them out loud.  (Ie:  I would never consider jumping naked off a fort.  I wouldn’t dream of making a rule about this because I wouldn’t do it.  A little boy would.  Make the rule.)

2.      Celebrate everything.  I think I would take a lot more for granted if I didn’t have children with disabilities.  One of the many blessings I’ve found is that we don’t take things for granted.  I can vividly remember when my son first grabbed hair as an infant.  This was not easy for someone with partial hands to accomplish.  We celebrated!  I can remember vividly when my daughter first rolled over.  Again – a celebration!  I’ve even been known to get cupcakes and hang a banner for milestones we’ve worked really hard on.  I love that every seemingly little thing is a big deal in our family – we appreciate it more.  I watched my child run on the beach today and I was overwhelmed with emotion as he runs – a child missing his feet yet he runs.  I am so thankful.

(Sometimes, you might have to hide the celebration.  Once, we were at a local restaurant with friends and for the first time ever, my son removed his clothes in the play area and took off running.  Apparently, he was hot.  Also, see point #1 – I didn’t have a rule for this.  Now, I do.  While I dressed him and explained that he can’t remove his clothes publically, inside I was screaming & dancing for joy as we had long been working on independently undressing himself.  Clearly, this demonstrated he had mastered that skill!  I hid that celebration!  Even when he runs away from me and proceeds to get in trouble for that, inwardly I am so thankful that he can run!)

3.      Throw out the books and let go of expectations of others.  (Easier said (or typed) than done.)  I have often struggled with other’s expectations of my children or of my parenting.  I used to think I owed explanations when someone would ask me why my child was not yet doing whatever particular milestone they were concerned about.  I used to cry a lot more (especially in the grocery store) when a nosy person would ask me about my child’s differences.  I’ve learned that I don’t owe an explanation and that my child will accomplish what they need to on their timeline.  Granted, we do therapy and see specialists to help them but I need to give them (& myself) the grace to accomplish things as they are able.  Also, I’ve learned that the parenting books leave a lot out.  They certainly don’t cover unique circumstances – like losing three months of infancy because your child is in a body cast or how to manage sleep schedules when you are constantly flying to see doctors.  Throw out the books – seek wisdom & counsel from friends and family you trust and lean into the God who created your child.

4.      Someone once suggested to us that the greatest testimony we could give our child during difficult circumstances was to show him how a marriage looks like in the face of pain.  Everyone will endure pain.  It’s part of life.  Teach you children how to manage painful parts of life within a marriage by demonstrating this yourself.  Focus on your marriage and your children will reap the benefits.  I think it is so easy to be consumed by the demands of raising children and mothering and just trying to get the dishes done that we forget to spend (awake) time with our spouse.  This is often a big struggle for me – the exhaustion of the day, the stress of appointments, the demands of a nursing baby, etc.  But, when I consider the value of teaching my children about marriage, it helps me to reconstruct my priorities and focus on the man I love who gave me these precious babes.

5.      I think my favorite parts of being a mommy are the little moments.  They are the moments I don’t have videos of or pictures to remember them by.  They are moments spent in the mornings cuddling in bed together.  They are the funny things a child says that you can’t always remember later but you know you laughed so hard at.  They are the moments of helping them brush teeth and go potty and get dressed.  They are baths and how absolutely delicious a clean baby can smell.  It’s the moments of smelling warm nap breath and feeling a warm cheek after you’ve awoken them.  It’s singing silly songs and dancing in the kitchen together.  It’s rocking and sometimes shedding a few tears as you rock and cuddle and realize it’s going by so quickly.  It’s playing together.  What better way to spend a day than sword fighting and digging in the dirt and reading stories and cuddling on the couch and racing cars and making pretend dinners and playing dress up?  It’s saying yes to the boy who asks you to marry him and requests that you wear the pink princess dress he loves on you to the wedding.  It’s nights like tonight when my son sang the lullabies back to me that I’ve sung to him since my pregnancy.   It’s those late night cuddles when I can’t resist crawling in his bed just for a minute before I head to my own.  It’s holding a baby so closely and knowing there is nothing in the world to compare to the feeling of a sleeping babe on your chest.  I try to remember to memorize these fleeting moments.  They are often so quick and even the routine ones won’t stay routine forever.  I want to recall their smells and their sounds and their softness and every little thing about being their mommy.  It’s so easy to get caught up in the demands and business of being a mother and then to miss the moments of being a mommy.   It’s the greatest joy and privildge of my life.  I don’t want to miss a single moment.

I’m only a few years into this journey.  I have so much to learn and am often overwhelmed by the sheer joy of motherhood coupled with the enormous responsibility.  I love blogs in that they offer a sense of camaraderie, a companionship as we figure out this whole mom thing together. 

Thanks, Brooke, for sharing thoughts from so many moms and for including me!

A Mother's Voice - Kim

I'd like to welcome our West Coast contributor, Kim!  Kim is a first time mom to Carter and grew up right here in San Antonio.  She and her family are now residents of Seattle and when our grass is brown and drought-ridden, Kim is still snapping shots of Carter in luscious, green backgrounds.  Makes a girl thirst for some rain!  Kim is one of those people that can go to a restaurant, have something delicious, go home and recreate it.  I do not, will not ever and can not ever have those skills so I appreciate her sharing these new found recipes on her blog for those of us that are domestically challenged.  Thanks for your contribution Kim!
http://www.lpod.wordpress.com/

                                                                          

I Always Feel Like Someone is Watching Me…

I know. I’m sorry. That little ditty has been perpetually stuck in my head for at least a year now too. The best part? I think that insurance company stopped running that series of advertisements just a month or two ago. How nice of me to re-introduce that little ear worm, huh?

This might be a silly story for some all of you, but I distinctly remember the night my freshman year in high school when I found out I made cheerleader. One of the women (a past coach whom I never had the opportunity to work with) serving on the panel of judges said “Just remember, you are now a CHS Cheerleader. There will always be someone who is watching you. Every single move you make will be seen.” I’m sure that was a bit of a scare tactic to make sure we didn’t get into the usual high school trouble and subsequently embarrass our squad, coaches, and high school. But it stuck with me. Sometimes (ok, often in my young 20s), I would hide that voice in the deepest depths of my brain and ignore it, but it’s always been there.

Over the last 8 months that voice has gotten a lot louder. It cries. It sings. It screeches. It squeals with glee. It says “mamamamamama.” It babbles as it tries to form its first words. Best of all, it giggles uncontrollably when I kiss it’s cheek. It’s my son Carter Joe.

About a month ago, I wrote a post about setting a good example for my child. Overall, I realized that I’m not perfect (gasp!). Ok, I have always known I’m not perfect, but I started really seeing things I very much wanted to change. I’ve come to notice over the last few weeks that not only is my day-to-day life being watched, but so are my facial expressions and my reactions to everything. Hot coffee makes me wince or say an unsavory word and wave my hand over my mouth? CJ finds a way to mimic it the best he can.

After watching him pick up so many of my facial expressions and hand motions (I’m trying to teach him a few sign language skills and within 5 days he seems to be catching on to a couple), I challenged myself to think about every action I took over one day. First he rejected the fresh mango I pureed for his breakfast. I had JUST tasted it and thought it was a little tart. He made my tart face and proceeded to giggle every time I tried to feed it to him. After the 2^nd bite, he acted as if he was going to upchuck the rest of his breakfast. Epic mango fail. Later, it was bath time. He used to LOVE bath time, but we had a bad experience while on vacation. It involved a shower (no tub) with wildly unpredictable temperature changes and the world’s shortest shower and longest top-of-your-lungs-all-of-our-friends-on-vacation-with-us-thought-we-were-torturing-our-baby-scream. Since then, bath time has been a crapshoot. I’ve tried to work myself into a very positive mood about it, but if I show any signs of stress and walter the whale (that’s a toy, not a body part) points his blowhole within 3 degrees of the wrong direction…well, let’s just say bath time promptly ends. Back of the ears clean or not, bath time is o.v.e.r. Some days, if I’m calm enough going into bath time (read: my child actually napped and ate when he was supposed to) walter can direct his spout in any direction and it’s only a minor hiccup.

It’s a bit of a slippery slope to take every move you make to that level of scrutiny, but it’s not that hard to keep in check when you can adopt the concept as a whole. That certainly can be problematic when you are mired in the detail of today’s life. Whether you stay at home or are a full time working mom, it can be difficult to put your mind in the place of a little critter who has been in this world for a mere 196 days. Wow. Writing that out… one hundred ninety six days … This world is scary to this old gal who’s been on the earth forever. I’m blessed with the opportunity to rediscover it with my first born son. Life really couldn’t get better than that. A simple thought such as “196 days” can help put the right expression on my face no matter the circumstances, and I'm hopeful he'll copy it.

A Mother's Voice - Betsy

Please welcome Betsy to PIOW! Betsy (aka Bootsy, Boots, Booty) and I met while working for the Four Seasons in Atlanta. When we first met, we both had boyfriends that we now call husbands and children were no where to be found in our conversations during cocktails after work! Our friendship was solidified after Boots moved to Dallas and we started traveling together on sales trips. We thought we were back in college dorm life when we'd meet in one of our hotel rooms with snack trays, a bottle of wine, cheesy tv in the background and dissecting all things that had transpired since the last time we'd seen each other. We'd then have our own personal bootcamp each morning before heading out for a long day of client schmoozing. Betsy is, without a doubt, one of the most positive and encouraging people I know. You leave a conversation with her feeling a little like Wonder Woman - no wonder I loved our long conversations! Now you might think I'm crazy for asking her to write something since she has three week old twin girls and a 2 1/2 year old but, Booty being Booty, sent in her thoughts. Thanks Betsy and I can't wait to give Molly, Maggie and Kate a big squeeze!

                                                                              
Being a Mom means......

Being a Mom means "Welcome to the Club" where you immediately unite and bond with others
Being a Mom means you love more deeply than you ever thought possible
Being a Mom means you now cry at Hallmark commercials and all TLC "Baby Story" programs
Being a Mom means you have been given the most amazing gift that God can possibly give
Being a Mom means it's the toughest job you'll ever love...and then there's the teenage years
Being a Mom means your a walking Birthday party- ready to sing and dance at a moments notice
Being a Mom means you are someone's entire world.......

Being a Mom.....is a honor and a joy. Someone once told me...the days are long...but the years are short...enjoy it while you have it. If you have ever heard the song "Your going to Miss this" by Trace Atkins...it truly sums it up. It's true....we will miss these days.

Betsy Nameth
Mom of Molly (2.5 yrs old) Kate and Maggie (3 week old twins) and big fan of Brooke Swallow's

A Mother's Voice - Maegan

Maegan and I were Kappas together at Texas Tech.  We'd lost contact since leaving college and then good ol' Facebook comes along.  This coupled with the world of blogging and we are totally caught up on each other's lives.  Amazing how that happens!  What did people do before Facebook?  Spend hours talking to each other in person???  How crazy is that?  My typical Maegan blog stalking comes when I see a funny post on FB about one of her kids.  I just know the full story is soon to follow on the blog.  I can't tell if Holden and Hattie are just that entertaining or if Maegan is just one heck of a storyteller.  That being said, I knew I wanted her input when I started "A Mother's Voice" and she did not disappoint.  Thanks Maegan!

http://www.holdenontomyhat.blogspot.com/
                                                                            

When Brooke asked me to write something for her blog about parenting, I thought where do I start?  Then I started reminiscing about life before kids and all of the fantasies I had about what type of parent I was going to be and how my kids where going to be.  Let’s just say, my list now doesn’t even compare to pre-babies!  Raising a 4 year old boy who thinks he is an adult and a 2 year old girl who KNOWS she is an adult is the most fun adventure I have ever been on.  Here is a list of some of my opinions before and after kids.

Before - My children will never throw a tantrum in the aisles of Wal-Mart.
Now – I just make sure when they flail their little bodies onto the dirty floor (because I won’t buy legos, Transformers, Ninjago, baby dolls, and anything else that has been strategically placed at their eye level) that they are at least out of the way of other shopper’s buggies.
Before - My children will always having on a coordinated outfit from head to toe.
Now – As long as they have clothes and shoes on and we can get out the door on time, it is ok that they are wearing snow boots with swim trunks and a pearl snap shirt and a motorcycle helmet.
Before – My children will eat well balanced meals.
Now – Corn dogs for breakfast…who am I kidding…corn dogs for every meal won’t ruin them forever (I hope).  I just try to mix in one healthy treat like a banana or orange to make myself feel better.
Before – My children will always sleep in their beds in their own rooms.
Now – Well, let’s just say that if Holden isn’t snoozing in a Batman tent or in his closet inside of a sleeping bag then you can find him sleeping under our bed in his sleeping bag.  I no longer ask why.
Before – My children will never go to school when they are sick.  How could parents do that to their poor children and expose all of the other kids at school?
Now – My child may or may not have gone to school with pink eye this week (he was medicated and hopefully not contagious) and announced to everyone as he walked in the door, “I have the pink eye!!!” as if it were a badge of honor.  What is a little germ spreading between friends?
Before – I am not going to be one of those parents that uses spit on my finger to clean my child’s face.
Now – It doesn’t matter if I can identify said substance on their face or not, if we are going out in public and I have nothing but my own spit and finger…well, I am just going to have to be one of those parents.
Before – My precious children will never have snot running down their faces.
Now – How can such a little nose create so many boogers?  I would need to buy stock in Kleenex to keep those little noses clean all the time.
Before – I am not going to tell other people about being pregnant, child birth, having a newborn, what comes out of a newborn, sleep deprivation, potty training, toddler tantrums, or any other unwarranted advice.
Now – Well, how long do you have and I will tell you all about my kids, how they entered this earth, what they had for dinner, how precious they are, how smart they are, when they got their first teeth, their favorite activities…wait, let me pull out my camera so you can see pictures of them from birth until now.

I always joked that I have successfully raised well-behaved dogs so how hard can kids be?  I think I will answer that question in about 16 years when they are both in college…or maybe when they are out of college…or after they are married…wait, does this whole “raising kids” thing every end?  I sure hope not!

A Mother's Voice - Lisa

I don't know what I would have done this last year without long talks (and texts) with my friend Lisa.  Lisa's son, Field, was born two months before Harper with a congenital heart defect.  My heart broke for Brad and Lisa when they learned this news but they have handled it with such grace.  I have no doubt that The Big Guy put us in each other's lives with specific care.  While our children's diagnoses are very different, we understand what its like to have a child that's had to come into the world fighting.  And now since they are buying a house around the corner, they're about to be our neighbors!  I grew up on Sinclair street with a plethora of kids running from house to house.  I can't wait for Harps and Field to have this same friendship.
http://www.fieldjohnson.blogspot.com/
                                                                              

Motherhood is Not About Being Perfect

When my very good friend, Brooke, asked me to be a “guest blogger” and write something about motherhood on her blog, I was honored and excited.  Then I sat down to write and felt overwhelmed and unsure of myself as a mother.  I am not perfect, so what should I write about?  Do I have any good advice to offer?  What do I know about motherhood that others don’t?  As I asked myself these questions, the word unsure kept coming to mind.

Photo Credit

As a new, first time mom, I spend a lot of time questioning myself.  Am I doing the right thing?  Am I feeding him enough?  Am I talking to him enough?  Is he happy?  It’s a constant guessing game as I learn daily how to be a better mom.  Right after we had our son, Field (who came with some challenges), I remember someone asking my husband what it was like to be a new parent.  He described it by saying it was a very steep learning curve.  His answer was very true and so very honest.  But as the mom, I felt like I was supposed to already know these things.  I had a hard time admitting that the learning curve was steep, because I felt inadequate that I didn’t know all of the answers right off the bat.  Wasn’t I supposed to have some innate ability to know everything about being a mom?
 

My very first day as a brand new mom.

I think the topics of uncertainty and perfection are important for moms to discuss openly.  We shouldn’t expect ourselves or others to be perfect and to know all of the answers and we need to be open with each other so we don’t feel alone.  We are all learning and as soon as we figure out one stage in our child’s life (whether they are a baby or an adult!), it’s time to move on to the next and learn a new mommy skill.  It’s ok to not know why the baby is crying or to forget to change a poopy diaper (but trust me, once they are past the newborn/breastmilk stage, your senses will remind you.:)  It’s ok to not know how to help your adult child when she is hurting.  It’s ok to admit that you need help and heaven forbid, it’s certainly ok to make mistakes.

One of the first newborn days at home

Moms are SO hard on themselves and this is often one of my biggest challenges.  I want to have it all together, know all of the answers, and look good doing it!  But that’s not reality and it’s perfectly ok.  (Don’t even get me started on the many outfits I changed into daily when my son struggled with reflux.  I quit trying to look “cute” very early on!)

With my 4 month old...just starting to get the hang of things

 The best advice I have ever heard about motherhood is to love your child, smile, and relax. 

Celebrating the big 3-0 with my family

Give yourself permission to make mistakes and don’t strive to be perfect.  Being a good mom is awesome!  Being a perfect mom is impossible! 

Loving on my sweet boy before his surgery

Hurting so very deeply, but continuing to love on him after surgery

So, my point in writing all of this is to challenge moms at every age and every stage, to give yourself credit (and a break!).  You don’t need to know all of the answers, you don’t have to be perfect, and it’s ok to ask for help.  And to take even one step further, admit that you aren't perfect to other moms.  Help each other feel less inadequate.  Love, smile, and relax...and your child, at any age, will be better for it. 

All smiles at the beach this spring

I have to remind myself of this very often but I love the relationships I've formed with other new, honest moms.  It's true and genuine and so very comforting. 

Enjoying my precious boy

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mommies out there. 

We have the best job in the world, so let’s sit back, relax, and enjoy being good, but not perfect, moms!     

A Mother's Voice - Amanda

Welcome Amanda to Peek In Our World!  Amanda and I have been friends since high school and our mothers are dear friends.  We were so excited to find out that we were going to have babies within weeks of each other but I think Honey and Cici's excitement blew ours out of the water.  We love when Sutton comes to visit and our girls will always be friends. 
http://www.lifeasakelly.blogspot.com/

                                                                             

Thank you, Brooke, for including me in this incredible network of inspiring grandmothers and mothers.  I am a first time mommy to a darling 9 month old girl, Sutton, and have loved just about every minute of it. 

----------------

Below is a little glimpse of my prayers when I lay my head down at night….

Lord, thank you for the love of the mother you blessed upon me,

Whose love is so precious that it can never be measured,

Whose patience and wisdom seem to have no end.

Thank you for giving me a mother who believes in me

when I found it difficult to believe in myself.

And for saying what I’ve needed to hear sometimes,

instead of what I’ve wanted to hear.

I pray for my mother’s love, devotion and endurance to rest within me,

and for Sutton to feel this same special love.

May her days be filled with rainbow lights,

Fairytales and sweet dream nights.

As some have referred to earlier, this is the hardest yet most rewarding job ever and no one can ever prepare you for this role.  I honestly don’t know where I would be without the encouragement, advice and love from many of those who have guest blogged this week and of course, my incredible mother.  The love and wisdom my mom has provided me along this path of parenting is something I will always carry with me.  Mom, I hope that when you think of me, a part of you you’ll always see. 

I love you – Happy Mother’s Day!  XOXO!

A Mother's Voice - Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!  I've really enjoyed putting together A Mother's Voice but it's not over yet.  I have more guest bloggers on their way this week and would love to continue this through the month.  If you would like to contribute as a guest blogger, please email me at peekinourworld{at}gmail{dot}com.  Here's the official assignment:
You can write whatever you'd like about being a mom.  It can be great advice you'd like to share, how becoming a parent has changed you, what you learned from your parents that you put to use with your kids or what your kids have taught you, what Mother's Day means to you or even just a funny story about motherhood.  It can even just a picture that sums it all up. There are no rules, just whatever Mother's Day brings to mind.

So on this Mother's Day, I share my thoughts with the special women in our lives.
                                                                             

Dear Harper,

You hold my heart little one.  You bring me joy I never thought possible.  A year ago today, our lives were filled with so much uncertainty.  We were so scared about what your future would be, or if you would even have a future.  There were nights were I would wake up at 2am, terror stricken, only to find myself huddled up on the bathroom floor and crying at what might not be.

Oh, if I had only known what WOULD be and how you would utterly transform my soul.  You have taught me new levels of love, patience, thankfulness and faith in nine short months that I didn't know were possible.  I can’t wait to see your face light up every morning, to snuggle with you before your naps, to teach you new things and see that little brain hard at work, to make you belly laugh, to have conversations with you that consist of “yayaya, bababa”. 

My joy is overflowing and the gift of your life is the best Mother’s Day present I could ever receive. 

I love you Squirrel.

Mommy

Harper, Brooke, Brent and Mom

Harper and Honey

Dear Mom, 

We’ve always acknowledged Mother’s Day with a small gift, a card and an “I love you”.  This year, I give you thank you from the bottom of my heart.  

I can now comprehend the love you have for Brent and me and what the job of being a mother means.  I’ve known the hopes, dreams, worries and concerns for nine months…you’ve known it for 32 years.  And for 63 if you count us separately. Now I get to see the all-consuming love that you have for my daughter and how you love her as much as Jared and I do - what a gift!

Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for loving Harper.  Thank you for the never ending job of being my mom and Harper’s Honey.  I am so blessed to have been given to you.  Happy Mother’s Day.

I love you,

Brooke

Grammie and Harper

Dear Sherry,

Happy Mother’s Day.  I know it’s hard for you to be away from all of us but Harper gets to know her Grammie through the man you raised her daddy to be. 

Jared is an amazing father and the values you instilled in his life shine through every day.  His determination, respectfulness and honesty are all attributes that he learned from his family.  He is a good man and I am thankful for the person you shaped him into in the 18 years he lived under your roof. 

To have raised three rough, rowdy boys to be successful, courteous men is not an easy task but you have done it well.  Thank you for the man that makes my daughter beam with delight.

I love you,

Brooke

A Mother's Voice - Sherry

A guest blog appearance by Sherry, also known as Harper's Grammie or Jared's mom.  I love the baby picture of Jared - I can see so much of Harper in him.  Happy Mother's Day Sher!
                                                                          

Love is a Verb
There is a scripture that says "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass"  Alma 37:6.

I didn't undersand this when I was a young mother, like I do now.  I was just busy making sure my sons were healthy, happy and taken care of - LOVED. 

When I look back on the 3 decades of motherhood, I see that the seemingly insignificant things I did over and over actually weave the pattern of life.  And when those small and simple things are good, life becomes fulfilling.  And that is a great thing!

So to my 2 daughter-in-laws, Meghan and Brooke, to my neice Meghan Chelton and all you young mothers out there - don't frett;
-When the baby is screaming and won't go down for a nap
-When the toddler plays in the toliet for the hundreth time
-When the 5 year old cries before, during and after his swim lesson
-When the young boy gets hit in the face with a soccer ball and refuses to ever play soccer again
or
-When you leave that almost grown up guy at his college dorm hundreds of miles away from home.
because "great things will come to pass".

I have proudly watched all 3 of my sons grow to be great men as they have taken the pattern of our family and used the threads of faith, hope and love to weave their own rich tapestry.   And seen the fulfillment of that scripture.   I love you all.

Happy Mothers Day
Sherry

A Mother's Voice - Elisabeth

Elisabeth and I "met" each other through an omphalocele moms online thread.  There's a group of us who exchange information, give each other support and advice and understand what its like to have a high risk pregnancy and a baby with special circumstances.  These women have been an amazing resource for me over the last year and, while most of us haven't met in person, I feel like I know them and their children personally.  Lincoln was born just a few weeks prior to Harper so I've followed his story closely.  Elisabeth is an amazing mom and has sacrificed her own needs for the good of her precious little boy.  I had the opportunity to meet Elisabeth in person in February while we were in Houston since our children are both seeing the same surgical team.  After praying for Elisabeth, Tendai and Lincoln over the last year, it was good to put a hug around her neck.  Thank you for your contribution Elisabeth!
http://www.babylynch-lincoln.blogspot.com/
                                                                               

After being asked if I wanted to participate in a Mother's Day blog, I accepted as being a mom is new to me.  But putting my thoughts of motherhood into words has been a struggle.  How can you accurately convey something you are so emotional about? 

When I was pregnant I had posted a blog about how excited I was to have this baby that was going to show the world how in love I was with my husband, and I still believe this, but little did I know the world was going to show me how in love I was with my baby.  I'm mesmerized with every coo, whimper, laugh, sneeze, cough, yawn,  and his smile... now I claim to not be an emotional person ...but now when he looks at me and smiles, I have to do all I can to not shed a tear.  Maybe it's because I value his life so much more because of what we've endured, but he's just made an improved me.

I feel we've had many instances that God has opened up my eyes and shown me a glimpse of how he sees me.  Jesus served everyone when He was here, and I look at how I take care of Lincoln, and realize God does all of this for me.  Maybe that's why He made us mothers and fathers, because if I can have so much love for my son here on earth, I can't even imagine the love my heavenly Father has for me. And I thank Him for the gift of motherhood.  Though it's been a rollercoaster ride, we don't know any better, but just to keep moving forward through it all.  And as long as Lincoln keeps flashing me smiles, they'll give me the strength to keep pressing onward.

It may by Mother's Day, but today this mother is blessed to have another day to share with her son, and I shall rejoice.

Let your mother and father be glad, and let her who bore you rejoice.
Proverbs 23:25

A Mother's Voice - Pam/Jessica/Stacy

When I started this project, I immediately thought of this mother/daughter grouping.  Jenny, Jessica and Stacy were Clark High School legends (Claw 'em Cougs!).  Three sisters who were my predecessors to the halls of CHS - all equally beautiful and talented.  Stacy was a senior when I was a sophomore so she was the only one that I really walked the halls with.  But since we are all grown ups now and age somehow seems to fade into the background, I get to call these beautiful and talented women my peers.  They were raised by their equally beautiful and talented mother, Pam.  Pam, Jessica and Stacy all blog about motherhood (and grandmother-hood).  You can certainly hear threads of genetic ties and inspiring faith through their words but they all have an individual voice.  I thought it would be fun to have a "trifecta" post for A Mother's Voice.  Thanks Pam, Jessica and Stacy!
Pam  http://www.pampm.blogspot.com/
Jessica  http://www.tootletot.blogspot.com/
Stacy http://www.booarnold.blogspot.com/

                                                                               
Pam
Thanks Brooke for this clever idea of guest blogging. What fun this will be. How thoughtful of you to think of our family to share in this blogging project. :)

I love Mother’s Day! I love having a mother, being a mother, being a mother in law, seeing my girls be a mother or Auntie, and being a Nama. O and someday I’ll be a great grandmother.

Each stage of life has brought new joys and blessings to me as I walk the life journey of being a woman.
I like to think of the concept of a Labyrinth. ( a single non branching path which leads to the center. An unambiguous route to the center and back.) My thoughts of my Labyrinth would lead from the center out and back and out again. God would be the center and the path would lead from that center, walking with God and being what God has made us to be.

That being in mind, I can always return to the center and “center” myself on God then walk out again with the knowledge learned. As I become all the kinds of “mother’s that I am, on the path I can reflect on the unconditional love I felt from my mom.

Unconditional love for my daughters came as natural as breathing. I have to add I sat in front of my bedroom window (16 yrs old) and wished upon a star for three daughters the same age difference as my girl friend and her sisters. Came true. God made the stars, right? I like to think my wish upon a star was a prayer to God. Answered.

Jenny, first born, always a special place in a mother’s heart for her first born. So precious she is, followed the Dr. Spock book to the T. I couldn’t get enough of her. She is adorable, loving and fearless. I love to see her new creative projects which never stop. She is always full of fun ideas. The decorator. The perfect Auntie. I love you Jenny.

Jessica, second born, always a special place in a mother’s heart for her middle child. So precious and always thinking of others. So caring and loving and thoughtful to a stranger as well as a friend. I always love to hear her laugh. She is the observer and peace maker. The perfect mother. I love you Jessica.

Stacy, third born, always a special place in a mothers heart for her last child born. A people baby, she loves people, loved her dolls. She always makes us laugh. My precious “little buddy”. Adventurous little girl full of life and tells it like it is. I love that in her. The perfect mother. I love you Stacy.

Their husbands have become my son’s. Their children have become one of my grandest gifts of all.
Learning from my daughters (that made me a mom) has been such a great experience and gift. It means we have grown up with each other and learned from one another and continued to love one another through thick and thin. We have formed a bond that will never be broken. I believe it’s because we live in that concept of the Labyrinth and keep God in the center of our lives. Thank you Lord for making me a mother to these precious girls.

                                                                    
Jessica

I’ve just been given a blank slate!  And, I’m going to call this slate “Therapy”.  Thank you Brooke for opening the hearts of many mommies!  So, I did a little research to make sure I said the “right thing” to my “therapist”.  I Googled the top Bible verses that every Mom should have (kept tucked in their bras).  And, hands down my favorite:  Proverbs 10:1 A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.  This is fantastic!!!  I might get it “wall-arted” on Ryan and Samuel’s walls, just above their bed, so every night they can be reminded that God finds if foolish for a son to give grief to his mama! 

So, when I think about what has changed since having Ryan four years ago, I realize that it is EVERYTHING.  Want me to spell it out?  E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!  I won’t consume your time about the physical changes of having babies because I believe we’re all beyond aware of such “goes with the territory” physique-ial problem areas.  From the neurons deep in my brain, to the way my head hits the pillow, it’s all changed.  For the good??  Mostly, but gosh darn there are just those times!  (Said in the voice of Beth Moore).

This therapeutic session is going to continue on with the admission that jogs across my mind, “Why did I eagerly choose to kick off this rigmarole of motherhood?”  Holy moly this is not for the light-hearted.  But, I LOVE it!  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!  So, how can I think that, yet love the rigmarole at the same time???  Thank you, Lord.  I remember my boss at Baylor Hospital said, “It’s the hardest job that you’ll love the most.”  Now, when that was said, I was 23 years old, and LOVING my independent life in Dallas.  It didn’t mean much then.  GOT IT!!!! 

Admission #2:  I hate that it took me becoming a mom to understand the kind of love my mom has for me, and an inkling of a bit of God’s love for us.  The sacrificial kind.  It’s beautiful, hard, gracious, merciful…  Since my children are both boys, I beg the Lord to show my boys that sacrificial love that a mother has for his/her child, but more importantly that they would see the ultimate sacrifice God made for us.  I don’t take away a Father’s love for a child, but let’s just get real… there is something different within a mom where EVERY fiber of our bodies wants to be given to our children.  And, keepin’ it real, it isn’t all the time, but when I step out of my mommy madness, I realize I love my children with every fiber of my body! 

If I had suggestions (because I’m no mom-adviser by any means):

1.    Babywise your baby!  Don’t know what Babywise is, look it up!  It makes all the sense in the world.

2.    Love Dare your husband, and specifically in all the craziness of being a new mom.  You’ll go even further to understand God’s sacrificial love (the real love) for us, and selfishly, it’ll do wonders for you!!!!  (great return on investment).  J

3.    If you don’t live near your parents or in-laws (hopefully that is a positive for you), MOVE next door to them! 

4.    Talk to other moms.  Not for comparison reasons, but just so you can feel a since of normalcy. 

5.    I got this advice from another mom, “Pray that your kids will always get busted.” 

6.    Being a mom, while there are MILLIONS and MILLIONS, on this planet, can be lonely.  Surround yourself with other God-fearing, God-loving women that will help lift you up, when you are down.

This was a great, free therapy session. More therapy to go. 

I cannot wait for the other moms’ blank slates!  I have so much to learn!

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!

Jessica

Mom of Ryan (4 on May 14^th), and Samuel (17 mos)

                                                              
Stacy
There once was a gal named Little P,
She wished upon a star for girlie's, 3.
Complete with bowl cuts her dream came true,
And as a bonus came Piper the family shitzu.
They were gymnasts, ballerinas, soccer players too,
And if you were a Clark Cougar they would have cheered for you.
Perfect, these little girls were not,
They disobeyed a few times and were often caught.
A lie about New Years and a drive to the border,
Thank God they outgrew these things and got older.
They tested her patience and she fought back with grace,
Is there anything sweeter than the smile on her face?
She showed the 3 how to give and receive love,
And prayed most of all that they'd seek God above.
Now one in L.A., one opened a coffee shop,
and one distributes organs from Texas ma and pops.
Then grandbabies came and soon P was dubbed Nama,
Total of 5 for this gracious ol' grandma.
What an amazing legacy Little P will leave to her 3,
Blessed and honored to have this heroic mom gifted to me.
Happy Mothers Day Mom!
Love, Stacy

A Mother's Voice - Courtney

Give a big ol' Texas howdy to our Canadian contributor, Courtney!  Courtney's husband, Chris, and my husband, Jared, have a man crush on each other - and they are totally comfortable with it.  They are best friends who met while playing college golf.  Fast forward 11 years post graduation and they have a constant, on-going conversation via text.  And I mean constant!  There are times when Courtney and I wonder if they talk to each other more than they talk to us.  But I am so lucky that my husband's BFF is married to someone that I adore.  I just wish they lived closer to us than Toronto.  You might have heard me refer to Courtney and Chris as my parental encyclopedia.  These two superheros have 4 children....the oldest being 5.  No, that's not a typo.  I said FOUR children, the oldest being FIVE.  How's that for a reference source to have on speed dial?  And without further ado, I give my blog over to Courtney.
http://www.kaykraziness.blogspot.com/
                                                                               

Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet

  

Would a Mom by any other name be... as loving, nurturing, protective, hard working, sleep deprived. The list goes on and on and the descriptives change depending on who you ask. It has changed for me over the years especially depending on what stage of life I was in.

The path that I have traveled on to become a mother was not without its road bumps and mishaps. As a child I was raised believing that I could do, be or accomplish anything if I set my mind and heart to it. What I didn't realize was that at some point I was going to have to make some tough decisions on where my path was going to lead me.

Some people are lucky enough to know from a very early age what they want to do with their life. I always knew that I wanted to have a family and more than anything be a mom. Yet, I also wanted to be successful in a career. I always assumed that these two objectives would mesh seamlessly together... little did I know how difficult a choice every woman has to make once they become a Mom.

Chris and I married in 2002 and were very young compared to today's standards, I was 23 and he 24. I have always had a plan for my life that was based on this imaginary timeline. I wanted to have kids right away and the thought of having kids in my 30's seemed ridiculous because I was going to be so old! Ha, if I could go back in time and smack myself I would, but even then I'm sure young me still wouldn't have listened.

Unfortunately, it took Chris and I a few years to conceive but with a little fertility help we had our first daughter in 2006. Then it seemed like we figured things out in the baby making department as the next 3 babies followed in 2007, 2009 and 2011. I also have to mention in the year that we decided not to have a kid, Chris surprised me with a puppy!

Fennen born in 2006

Ryder born in 2007

Max born in 2008

Lexie born in 2009 - This was the first birth my mom was part of

Jared born in 2011

I remember in the two years that we were trying to conceive I struggled a lot with what being a mom was and what it would mean to me. I had always taken it for granted that I would be able to have children and that it was just a matter of determining when the right time would be. I suddenly started to think about what my life would be like once we did have a baby.

The idea of having to leave my precious baby in the care of someone else was something I had never really given much thought too. I wanted to be the one who shaped and molded this little bundle into the person she was to become. I wanted to be there for all of her firsts, I wanted to be able to wipe the tears away and join in on the laughs - but to do this meant I couldn't return to work.

Now I have to admit, I was mixed on if I would be able to handle being at home all day every day with only babies and toddlers to entertain me. I enjoyed certain aspects of the working world, mainly adult conversation, showering every day, wearing nice clothes, the ability to eat out at a restaurant - all the little things that I used to take for granted.

Luckily, I had the opportunity to return to work for 4 months before having Ryder. This short little return was enough for me to realize that I was willing to sacrifice whatever it took for me to remain home with the kids. I found my true calling - and it was being a mom.

Hindsight being 20/20, I wish I had known what a difficult emotional decision it would be to choose work over family. Maybe "choose" isn't the correct word, but I spent so many years stressing over my education and career path only to discover that in the end I was meant to stay at home with my kids. I realize I am very fortunate in having the ability to stay home to raise my children and many woman do not have this luxury. I think even if I hadn't decided to be a SAHM I would have been forced to once we had Lexie as I would need an extra job just to pay for daycare.

In the five years that I have been blessed to be a mom I have learned so much about myself and grown in leaps and bounds. I have gained a true appreciation for the following sayings, "one day you're going to have a child just like you" or "don't sweat the small stuff, its all small stuff", or "take it one day at a time, or even an hour if you have too", or "this too shall pass".

I also feel a tremendous pressure to raise my children with manners and morals. I am their number one role model. When I have a bad day and raise my voice, I can't be surprised in the days that follow when the kids in turn begin yelling at each other. My job is to make sure that each one of my children feel loved, that they know they are beautiful both inside and out, that they have the ability to do anything and everything they can possibly dream of, that they have empathy and most importantly that they stay young for as long as possible and have as much fun as possible.

Ryder, Lexie, Fennen and Jared

The pay for being a Mom is pretty dismal but I love being paid in "I love you's", spontaneous kisses, creative art projects and a look on their face that says I am their number one. One day they may choose to be parents too and I hope when they reflect back over their upbringing they have the same appreciation I now have for what my mom did for me.

My Mom aka Grammy and me in 2010