Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet
The path that I have traveled on to become a mother was not without its road bumps and mishaps. As a child I was raised believing that I could do, be or accomplish anything if I set my mind and heart to it. What I didn't realize was that at some point I was going to have to make some tough decisions on where my path was going to lead me.
Unfortunately, it took Chris and I a few years to conceive but with a little fertility help we had our first daughter in 2006. Then it seemed like we figured things out in the baby making department as the next 3 babies followed in 2007, 2009 and 2011. I also have to mention in the year that we decided not to have a kid, Chris surprised me with a puppy!
Fennen born in 2006
Ryder born in 2007
Max born in 2008
Lexie born in 2009 - This was the first birth my mom was part of
Now I have to admit, I was mixed on if I would be able to handle being at home all day every day with only babies and toddlers to entertain me. I enjoyed certain aspects of the working world, mainly adult conversation, showering every day, wearing nice clothes, the ability to eat out at a restaurant - all the little things that I used to take for granted.
Luckily, I had the opportunity to return to work for 4 months before having Ryder. This short little return was enough for me to realize that I was willing to sacrifice whatever it took for me to remain home with the kids. I found my true calling - and it was being a mom.
Hindsight being 20/20, I wish I had known what a difficult emotional decision it would be to choose work over family. Maybe "choose" isn't the correct word, but I spent so many years stressing over my education and career path only to discover that in the end I was meant to stay at home with my kids. I realize I am very fortunate in having the ability to stay home to raise my children and many woman do not have this luxury. I think even if I hadn't decided to be a SAHM I would have been forced to once we had Lexie as I would need an extra job just to pay for daycare.
In the five years that I have been blessed to be a mom I have learned so much about myself and grown in leaps and bounds. I have gained a true appreciation for the following sayings, "one day you're going to have a child just like you" or "don't sweat the small stuff, its all small stuff", or "take it one day at a time, or even an hour if you have too", or "this too shall pass".
Ryder, Lexie, Fennen and Jared
The pay for being a Mom is pretty dismal but I love being paid in "I love you's", spontaneous kisses, creative art projects and a look on their face that says I am their number one. One day they may choose to be parents too and I hope when they reflect back over their upbringing they have the same appreciation I now have for what my mom did for me.