Dear Posh and Becks,
We'd first like to extend our sincerest congratulations to you on the arrival of your newest addition. After all of those beautifully rowdy boys, I'm sure your little girl will a budding fashionista (just like her mother) and the apple of her father's eye. We were pleased to hear that she arrived healthy and wish you all the happiness in the world.
I would, however, like to discuss the matter of her name. When Will and Katherine popped by for afternoon tea yesterday during their American tour, we were just talking about how excited we were for the two of you. (I just can't wait for those two to have a baby of their own for our babies to play with!) But we were certain you'd go with something like Louisa, Beatrix, Sawyer or Poppy.
Now, we are honored that you would choose to name your daughter Harper. We know what avid PIOW followers you've been and we just adored the John Hardy Pave Diamond Baby Bracelet you sent for Harper's birth. We can't thank you enough for your generosity. But don't you think it might get a little confusing now that there are TWO Harpers running in our circle of friends? When we had dinner last year while I was pregnant, I know we both mentioned how much we liked the name Harper. You were certainly gracious when we let you in on the little secret that our baby girl would be a Harper. You failed to mention that it was topping the list on any future Beckhams.
Jared and I specifically picked the name because it was unique and we were certain our little girl wouldn't have five other Harpers in her classroom. I am afraid you might have just ruined that for her.
And to go with a middle name like Seven? Seven? Really? Harper needs a classic and beautiful compliment to it. I think Harper Elizabeth rolls off the tongue like the bells of the Notre Dame. But Harper Seven sounds a little, well, tacky.
Please know that you can easily correct this faux pas with one simple action. Just set up your press conference to announce that you "borrowed" the name from the Meabon family and that all die hard Beckham fans should show their support by choosing NOT to name future children Harper. Either that or you can purchase the copyrights to the name, banning any other children to be named Harper for the next 100 years. The cost would be like pennies for the two of you. Do know that once this has been taken care of, there will be no harm done to our friendship and we will remain, as always, thick as thieves.
Oh, and thank you for your voicemail that you left as you were on your way to the hospital. Of course Jared and I would be delighted to serve as your Harper's Godparents. You two are just too sweet.
Brooke, Jared and The Original Harper